Sunday, April 16, 2017

JO42 Reviews: Bruno Mars “24K Magic”
By Jordan Owen
(c)2017




I’m late to the party on Bruno Mars- for all the high praise he’s received throughout the modern music press I’ve really only ever heard his early hit “Grenade” and that’s about it.  So his stuff has always been on my “to-listen” list even though I’m largely disillusioned with much of what’s come out of the whole confluence of R&B/Hip-Hop/Funk/Soul for the last decade and a half.  Heck, I was in high school when Mariah Carey’s “Honey” was burning up the charts so I have heard that song about 5,000 times and to this day I cannot tell you what the hook is.  Most modern R&B singers like Mariah don’t sing- they do a kind of “ghetto yodeling” that really gives a new meaning to the term “scat singing.” It’s a toneless, autotuned wailing that does nothing to capture the soul for which the genre is named and known.  This kind of crass music industry cynicism, punctuated by the decades stale marketing gambit that is white record execs bestowing astronomical riches on poor blacks so that the public at large can watch in morbid fascination as they blow it all on obscene displays of material prosperity and gradually turn into professional buffoons with their chronic lack of self awareness keeping them from realizing that they’re being played up as modern day minstrel punchlines, has put a generation-long cap on R&B, keeping it from producing the kind of genre-defining iconoclasts like Prince, Marvin Gaye and Michael Jackson that made it such a warm and intoxicating realm to begin with.

Mercifully and with great pleasure, however, I can say that a true artist and the kind of talent that legends are made of has emerged in the form of Bruno Mars.  As I write this review I have just completed two full playthroughs of the new album, “24k Magic.” The first was while I browsed the shelves at Barnes & Noble, the second was while I drove through the neon sprawl of the greater Atlanta area and both times I was transported out of the current dead-end that is the contemporary music industry- where record companies are throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks while venues have taken over the time honored tradition of screwing the artist out of money- and blasted back to a time when gold records adorned the walls of towering skyscrapers and the music industry relied on the compositional prowess of actual songwriters and the performances of live musicians rather than the infantile attention whore drooling of internet assclowns set to the lifeless beat of a department store keyboard demo button.

When the opening title track of “24k Magic” hit my ears I was at first sure that all my bracing for disappointment was justified- the first thing you hear is a heavily processed vocoder voice and I was sure that I was in for another Kanye West infected tragedy.  But I quickly found that this was not the case. Bruno uses the effect to great effect, evoking a throwback to the glory days of Roger Troutman and Zapp in that glorious synth heavy period where R&B was first coming to explore the versatility of the digital world but before it could be bastardized to give talent to the talentless.

The first two tracks are a delicious blend of the call-and-response choruses of Michael Jackson and the open-ended house party jam feel that made Prince’s concert band such a crowd pleaser. Track three “Perm” brings out the horns heavy, uptempo boogie of Morris Day and the Time, evoking memories of Day’s signature side-to-side dance steps.  This retro feel- with frequent homages to the glory days of James Brown- continues on “That’s What I Like” though the latter track has a vocal delivery more reminiscent of Frankie Valli.  Just under halfway through the album and it’s already apparent that Bruno Mars is a learned virtuoso, able to cop the best traits of the masters and deliver them with effortless poise.

But Mars does something altogether more stunning with this new batch of soon-to-be classics: he looks at the wasteland of contemporary hip-hop pastiche and finds in it the beauty and majesty that has for so long eluded other pretenders to the throne.  Yes, this is an album rife with the kind of Krsytal-Maybach-diamonds-on-your-timepiece lavishly depraved opulence lamented by Lorde but now it’s infused with the kind of sincere musicality that makes it sound like the fantasy-made-reality triumph of genuine artistry. There’s a sense of dignity and class about the record that allows the listener to feel as though they’re attending an upscale, invitation-only orgy in the penthouse suite of a posh W hotel rather than a glorified backyard BBQ sex party by the pool of a gaudy mansion that’s one crummy sophomore LP away from being repossessed.  In other words, Bruno has taken that brash ghetto swag swagger that, admittedly, does offer a lurid appeal to even the stuffiest of white conservatives and elevated it to a new height- one that is replaces the crass with the exquisite and bravado with true boldness of character without abandoning the baseball cap and gold chains cool from whence it came.

“Versace On the Floor” is a perfect example of this opulent-excess-made-erudite-and-classy chic that Mars has innovated. This is power ballad that combines a sincerely sweet, sentimental Stevie Wonder-esque melody with only the most subtle dash of roguish cheekiness.  The next track, “Straight Up and Down” throws down the kind of AOR soul that put smooth jazz on the map in the 80’s and does it well.  “Calling All My Lovelies” has that synth-pop meets layered harmony vibe that the Manhattan Transfer explored on Mecca for Moderns and takes me back to that early-90’s era when Andy Sidaris was doing his best work.  The Transfer influence can be heard again on “Finesse” but it’s “Too Good to Say Goodbye” that closes out the set with the album’s definitive show stopper. Seal, The Temptations, Sly Stone, Prince and MJ are on full display in this power ballad that puts aside the cocky swagger and lays naked an impassioned plea for the return of a lost love that, somehow, is warm and uplifting enough to make existing couples say “that’s our song.” The melody is soaring and complemented by a chord progression that changes the world of our inner headspace from day to night, sunrise to sunset, all in the width of a cymbal crash.

I don’t normally like to do track-by-track reviews like this but “24k Magic” is an album that fires on all cylinders from start to finish with absolutely no weak spots to be found. If there is justice in the world and enough integrity left in popular culture to still embrace true greatness then it is time to welcome Bruno Mars to stand proud in the pantheon of all the aforementioned soul music gods.  Each of these songs could be- and deserves to be- a top 10 single.  “24k Magic” is an album to played and cherished for decades to come and a shimmering beacon on the horizon of the vast arid expanse that has been this century’s popular music.

Bruno Mars hasn’t just given us a stunning throwback to the pop sensibilities of yesteryear- he’s taken everything that made the classics great and used them to shine a beacon of hope onto the lackluster pop world of today, showing us the path to a new renaissance in urban cool. 24 karat golden magic? Absolutely positively goddamn right. Thumbs up.

Kind regards,
-Jordan

Ps- I just listened to “Honey” again- I still can’t figure out what the hook is in that song!

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Jordan Owen on soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/Jordanowen42
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Saturday, April 8, 2017

Pepsi & Kendall Jenner: Truth to Power in Advertising

Pepsi & Kendall Jenner: Truth to Power in Advertising
By Jordan Owen
(C)2017


A couple of hours ago I was walking down the sidewalk on my way home from the Goodyear Tire place.  It was a warm spring day and the only thought on my carefree mind was how in the holy fuck I was going to come up with an extra $1500 to fix my transmission. Predictably, the calm state of zen that I’d found was interrupted once I got home and fired up the ol’ Bing News machine.  I had already spent the previous night adjusting to the knowledge that our country was now teetering precariously on the brink of Defcon 2 with only a Twitter crazed orange howler monkey to guide us onward. He’ll get that pee tape back even if it means our total nuclear annihilation.

Surely in the midst of all this widespread uncertainty the left could focus its attention on rallying the support of Trump’s newfound legion of defectors from the right rather than getting up in arms about some inane garbage, yes? Of course not- the latest outrage is over a culturally insensitive Pepsi commercial where Kendall Jennner, wooed by a grinning young hippie stud that for some unexplained reason brought a cello to a protest march, breaks free from her rigorous day job of holding still in expensive clothes and goes storming out into the crowd to join the protest where she single handedly mends ties between the police and the mob of protestors by offering one of the blue boys a Pepsi.

The commercial is vacuous and silly to be sure but the good folks over at Squatty Potty already put the good taste in advertising bar at an all time low with their commercial showing young children eating rainbow colored ice cream from a unicorn’s ass so it seems like This would be a fairly easy row to hoe.  Nevertheless, outrage has prevailed and I can’t say I don’t understand where much of it is coming from.  The disagreement is not the what but the why.
//
What we have to remember about advertising is that it is a medium specifically designed to cut to the core of a target demographic and hold up a magic mirror that shows the true face of the intended demographic augmented only by the presence of the product.  And sometimes that mirror image isn’t pretty.  So, to the younger generation that’s up in arms about this advertisement, stop and look at what it’s showing you and realize that you’re staring into a mirror.  We now live in an era where college activism is considered some kind of social rite of passage like going to the prom.  The capitalist machine you claim to be fighting against was more than happy to absorb and pander to your demographic and why wouldn’t it? You’re so completely wrapped up in your pampered push for the revolution that you think driving a Prius and reading blogosphere news outlets bankrolled on the same advertising dime that pays for those mainstream outlets your college professor slash beanie seamstress taught you not to trust is somehow rebellious.  Pepsi could not have been more accurate in their portrayal of the millennial protest generation: an affluent white bimbo tosses her wig to her black underling and goes prancing out into the streets to join a fellow mob of enraged millennials and stands up to the man by offering them a bottled and branded consumer product. That could not be a more accurate presentation of the gauged earring 500 gendered snowflake generation if it was wearing plaid.  Hell- watching the thing got that whole “this is my fight song take back the night song” thing stuck in my head and that wasn’t even the song they used in the commercial.

But the most accurate element of the commercial is its vagueness. This isn’t an angry protest mob that’s about anything. They’re just protesting. Period. No demands to be met, no issues on the table, they’re just protesting.  And when your demographic is so transparently obvious that it doesn’t even require a cause to be accurately portrayed, you know that it’s time to step up and own the fact that while this was a heinous caricature of public protest it was not the advertising department at Pepsi that made it that way.

If you don’t like what you see in that commercial stop and look at yourself and realize that you need to get a soul.  We all have advertisers trying to appeal to our demographic and maybe, just maybe, you need to go find a different demographic.  Otherwise, the truth hurts- buy a helmet.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Donald Trump is NOT Playing "Four Dimensional Chess"

Donald Trump is NOT Playing "Four Dimensional Chess"
By Jordan Owen
(c)2017
All Rights Reserved

By now the Trump administration has turned into a non-stop three ring circus of postmodern surrealism.  Where George W. Bush represented a resurgence of Bible thumping Reagan Republicans, this new administration (a term that is polite at best) caters exclusively to the most deranged and unsettling elements of the GOP.  But more than that, it caters to a very dark and very disturbing trend in human behavior.

There is a popular saying going around among Trump's most ardent defenders, trying to explain the Donald's bizarre, erratic behavior.  I've even heard it used by YouTubers that I'm otherwise a fan of, like the Rageaholic, and that phrase is "he's playing four dimensional chess."  This is meant to suggest that what we are perceiving as uncontrolled, eccentric, inexplicable actions are in fact the work of a mind so far ahead of our own that we can't begin to comprehend the brilliance of his vision.

No. That's not what Donald Trump is doing.  Just like its not what David Koresh, Jim Jones, L. Ron Hubbard and Charles Manson were doing.  What we are seeing is best summarized in a chilling quote from Mickey Rourke in the cult classic Rumble Fish:

"Even the most primitive society has an innate respect for the insane."

That is what we are seeing here as it has been all along.  Trump is a deranged lunatic as has always been known to the people closest to him.  Trump ghostwriter Tony Schwartz put it best: if he had it to do over, he would not have used the title "The Art of the Deal." Instead he would have called it "The Sociopath."  Trump is a strange creature- he is completely surface but we long for there to be a depth to him to such a degree that it becomes almost an act of faith.  As such its no surprise that so many like him channel that fascination into becoming religious leaders.  As Schwartz explained in his excellent interview with the New Yorker, there is no human depth to Donald Trump.  He is entirely surface.  He reads no books, has no higher intellectual pursuits, and can't sit still for very long.  He is short tempered and has little patience for dissent.  Yet through it all we long for there to be something there that justifies the attention and respect we give him.  It's for this reason that we, as a species, are tempted to say that someone like Trump is "playing four dimensional chess." We see the spastic rolling on the ground screaming gibberish and we decide they're in touch with the divine.  No, Donald Trump is not a brilliant navigator of media and politics when he randomly declares that his home was wire-tapped by the Obama administration.  He is not some Bobby-Fischer-meets-Machiavelli super genius.  He's a psyche dominated almost entirely by id and the sooner we see that the better.

So why are we so willing to go this route? Why is it so difficult to accept that we screwed up with letting this creep into our lives and need to move on? To understand the macro, let's consider the micro.  Donald Trump's relationship to his legion of supporters is comparable to the classic emotionally abusive boyfriend.  Yes, redpillers, I agree that women can be just as abusive.  But I want to stress a particular narrative of abuse that seems to be largely male to female in nature as it pertains, often, to successful women.

Nearly ten years ago I reconnected with a girl from my high school days that I was convinced was The One.  By every possible metric she and I should have been an ideal match.  She was bright, talented, successful, a fellow artist, and beautiful in a manner that called to mind the stunning, elegant women of the silent film era.  I knew that only the best type of man deserved to be with such a woman and aspired to be worthy of her affections.  She knew I liked her and reciprocated the interest.  There was a brief spark of involvement between us before she dropped me for another man.  At the time I was devastated and confused- I was 6'2'' and lifted weights.  This guy was a scrawny wastrel that would have made Jackie Earle Haley look like Jack Lalanne.  I brought her flowers to her performances. He couldn't be bothered to show up.  She was a show-stopping master of her craft. He was a scowling weasel that faded into the woodwork.  You get the idea- it was the classic nice-guys-finish-last narrative.  That bitter pill every man swallows when he learns that Prince Charming is about the last thing anybody wants or respects.  

In any case, I eventually rallied and went on to meet and date other women but I started hearing from mutual friends something that I had long suspected to be true- that he was abusing her and people were starting to worry about her.  After awhile I got romantically involved with someone that knew I still had residual feelings for this girl and wanted me to go confront her so we could move forward with our new relationship.  So I did- I went and sat down with her and told her everything- that I thought this guy was bad news and that I would have been a far better choice.  In light of the fact that I was doing this to get my feelings out and move on, she was patient, understanding, and thanked me for telling her how I felt.  Some months later I learned from a friend that after I talked to her she had gotten engaged to marry that creep and, shortly before the wedding, had gotten cold feet.  His response had been to throw her out of his house. And by that I mean physically shove her and her belongings out the front door of his house.

When I learned of that news I was saddened and felt genuinely sorry for her but I didn't reach out to her.  Friends wanted to know why I wasn't the gallant knight swooping in to catch her and save the day.  The simple answer was that as much as I had once cared for her I had come to understand that her decision to choose that scumbag over me was an insult and, if anything, she owed me an apology. No, I'm not going to be your Knight in Shining Armor when the chief of the Slappahoe tribe decides he's done with you- not if you already had the chance and made the worst possible choice.

What is it about these men that draws in women who are overwhelmingly successful, bright and talented?  Gender ideologues of different stripes might offer various socio-sexual explanations but I think it goes back to the same mentality that drives us to think that Donald Trump is functioning on some MENSA level strategy when really all he's doing is shot putting his bowel movements all over the monkey house that is Twitter.  We are taken in by a charismatic sociopath and, being non-sociopathic individuals assume that such charisma proceeds from confidence and, being non-sociopathic individuals- assume that such confidence proceeds from the achievement of values.  Non-sociopathic individuals have values and work to attain those values and earn respect through the development of our character.  As such we can't comprehend someone who considers charisma and confidence to be their default rather than something that is earned and cultivated over time.  Being unable to comprehend their wildly grandiose behavior we let our good intentions give them an odd sort of exhalation.  They know that they command our attention even though we don't know why- and that's why even the most primitive society has an innate respect for the insane.  Trump isn't brilliantly playing the media and politicians against one another- he's incurring random confusion and chaos with such sociopathic confidence that we convince ourselves it's some kind of heightened brilliance.

Even Dilbert creator Scott Adams, the first and most prophetic voice of a Trump victory emphasized the one and only skill that Donald Trump has ever exhibited: persuasion.  And it's the only skill you can rightly attribute to the list of all-hat-and-no-cattle cult leaders I mentioned earlier.  We didn't put a master business strategist in the White House. We let a Pick-Up Artist con his way into the country's bedroom and now we're sitting weeping in front of our friends- let's say their names are LaMexica and Canadaniqua- telling them that we brought it on ourselves and he really does care they just can't see it.  He's actually a great boyfriend- he's just playing four dimensional chess with our hearts.

The darkest and most foreboding aspect of this video is the possibility that the macro will match the micro in my warning as well.  Here I am telling you that this guy is bad news and you, the Trump supporter, want to believe that contrary to all the evidence he's operating on some higher level that you can't understand but sense is there and evidenced only to those who truly support him.  You don't want to admit that you done goofed on this one. You're willing to stomach the abuse and tell us you walked into a door when we ask about the bruises just so we don't realize what a dumb mistake you made and look down on you.  Well guess what- we already know what a dumb decision this was it already is lowering our opinion of you so what are you holding on to?  I wouldn't care if it was a one-to-one relationship.  That's your life to throw away and you have my permission to do it.  But this is bigger than that- you're dragging some 300,000,000 US citizens- to say nothing of the rest of the human race- down with you.  I'm sure he's a really great guy once you get to know him.

Kind regards,
-Jordan

Please support my work at http://www.patreon.com/jordanowen42

Please also visit:
Jordan Owen on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/jordanowen42
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Jordan Owen on Blogspot: http://www.jordanowen42.blogspot.com
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Sunday, January 22, 2017

Leave Barron Trump Alone


By Jordan Owen
(c)2017

L-R: Barron, Donald and Melania Trump


Things are going to get ugly.  They need to get ugly.  Donald Trump is taking our country in an ugly direction and he needs to be called out every step of the way.  In the course of that calling out it is necessary, as it is with any politician, to use withering satire to point out when the emperor has no clothes and help ourselves cope with the wildly errant shift in public policy.  As such, there should be no avenue left unexplored in the ongoing push to harangue and criticize those who hold the levers of power.

Except one.

We must never allow the child age children of elected officials become targets of our ire and rebuke.  They are innocent and did not choose who their parents would be or the situation they would be born into.  Such a line, which should seem intuitively uncrossable, was trespassed in a most heinous and deplorable manner by Saturday Night Live writer Katie Rich who on election day attacked Donald Trump’s youngest son by tweeting “Barron will be our country’s first homeschool shooter.”  Already calls for Rich to be fired from Saturday Night Live have flooded social media.  I don’t know if I agree with that but I won’t be surprised if it’s ultimately what happens.

Child shooters are a dark and troubling crisis point in American culture.  They represent a malignant streak of violence that slices down the middle of such controversial and difficult issues as gun control, mental illness, and early adolescent development.  While the topic itself is, like all concepts, open to satire and comedy, the leveling of the accusation against an actual child for no other reason than petty vindictiveness represents a particularly heinous level of callous disregard.  It should never be leveled at any child unless they pose a legitimate threat and then the accusation should only be raised in the context of getting them help.

Don’t get me wrong- Ivanka, Donald Jr., and Eric are all fair game- they’re adults and they choose to make themselves a part of their father’s legacy.  They are as open to criticism as any of the new President’s other associates.  But to bring a totally innocent 10 year old child into the discussion with such a vile insult is not merely an act of punching down but a confession of darkness in one’s very soul.

Katie Rich is not alone in her invoking of Barron as a cypher for her hateful nature.  Los Angeles based cartoonist Brian McGovern has launched an ongoing series of one-panel comics called “Lil Barron” that attempt to mock Donald Trump by portraying Barron as the victim of abuse and neglect for comedic effect.  The header on the comic’s Tumblr page reads a fictional boy who lives a lonely life in the cold, loveless shadow of his evil billionaire father. ANY resemblance to Barron Trump, a real boy who lives a lonely life in the cold, loveless shadow of his evil billionaire father is purely coincidental.  One comic panel shows Barron at an empty table dinner table saying “when it’s the cook’s day off, I don’t eat.” Another panel finds him next to a computer flowchart where he laments that “‘failing pile of garbage’ used to be my special nickname.”  While there can be no doubt Barron’s relationship to his father is augmented wildly by his father’s public reputation and professional standing, it is important to remember that this is still Barron’s dad and the only one he gets.  I don’t like Donald Trump.  I don’t think he is a good person or a competent leader- but I have absolutely no reason to think that he abuses and mistreats his son simply because I don’t like him.

The relationship of parent to child is a unique one and even a cold, calculating bastard can be a loving and supportive parent.  So no, Mr. McGovern, you aren’t using Barron as a means to attack his father- you’re using Donald Trump as a justification to attack his son.  And that’s sick.



Since 2012 the left has been fighting against the omnipresent bogeyman that is “online harassment” and has rallied to the defense of fully grown adults who have made often lucrative livings portraying themselves as the victims of internet intimidation campaigns.  That the same leftist media that have, for so long, used accusations of bullying and harassment to silence those who criticize their sacred cows would now do an about face and level a vicious, seething, cackling, utterly gutless bitchfest of hateful, sneering meanness at, of all people, a ten year old child reveals the true hypocrisy of their claims to be fighting for a safe and friendly internet environment.  Katie Rich has disappeared from social media following the negative blowback she’s gotten and if she emerges from her current exile tearfully portraying herself as the victim of a cyber mob of internet harassment she should- in my rampaging opinion- lose US citizenship because at that point she’ll be the worst American citizen since Timothy McVeigh.

In the midst of an outpouring of hate mongering trash from a media landscape that wouldn’t know integrity if it bit them on the ass, it truly warmed my heart to see one news story on Barron that deserves to be applauded and commended: US Weekly showed a video of President Trump beginning his duties as President with his family surrounding him.  Barron is seen in the background playing peekaboo with Ivanka’s baby.  It is a pure, simple, and heartwarming moment- one that should give us pause but also hope.  If Barron were the tiny monster and budding sociopath he’s often portrayed as he wouldn’t have had such a moment of genuine, human connection with a baby.  Until I have reason to think otherwise, this is what I will think of when I think of Barron Trump and I think it is a moment and a person that we as Americans ought to cherish.  It shows, with elegance and unexpected candor, that there is at least one light of pure human decency and love in the Trump household, something that we who are deeply skeptical of Trump the elder patriarch should carry in our hearts as a beacon of hope going forward.

We are, all of us, stewards of Barron Trump.  Where his adult siblings enjoyed relatively private childhoods and only entered the public eye in earnest when they chose to do so, Barron has been thrust into a uniquely public role which few children- no matter how wealthy their parents- ever encounter.  When I watched the inauguration I found myself catching glances at Barron, near his father, looking down at the crowd of onlookers.  His facial expression was oddly and quietly detached, as though he sought in the multitudes an answer to a question still only formulating in his mind.  It has been suggested that he might be autistic- and even bringing this into the forum of public discussion is uncalled for- but whatever the case, he clearly had little interest in the proceedings at hand.  The world leaders and dignitaries assembled to watch his father’s inauguration were of little interest- what was of greater importance for him was all the vast crowds.  For one who has, no doubt, lived such a sheltered life it must be uniquely captivating to see masses of humanity stretched out to the horizon.

As much as we are watching him, he is also watching us.  Yes, he’s a real life Richie Rich and the luxuries of his life will be the envy of 99.9% of the human race but he is also en route to becoming a man- one that will most likely play a major role in business, politics and other world affairs.  When that day comes do you want him to be person who sees humanity as fundamentally kind and worthy of respect or do you want him to be a deeply aggrieved, vindictive thug with a chip on his shoulder and an axe to grind? The choice is largely ours and I hope we can choose well.

Kind Regards,
-Jordan

Please support my work at http://www.patreon.com/jordanowen42

Please also visit:
Jordan Owen on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/jordanowen42
Jordan Owen on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jordanowen42
Jordan Owen on DeviantArt: http://jordanowen.deviantart.com
Jordan Owen on Blogspot: http://www.jordanowen42.blogspot.com
Jordan Owen's novel: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eros-Empire-Jordan-Owen/dp/1593933762
Jordan Owen on soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/Jordanowen42
The band: http://www.reverbnation.com/leavingbabylon

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Carrie Fisher: Beautiful Creature



(c)2016


2016 has been a year of tremendous loss.  David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Leonard Cohen, Greg Lake, Prince and a whole host of others have made for a tremendously morose and devastating trip around the sun but the last week of the year has been especially brutal, racking up George Michael, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, William Christopher and, most heartbreakingly of all, the newborn infant son of Breaking Benjamin guitarist Jasen Rauch.

There can be little doubt, however, that of all the most recent passings, Carrie Fisher’s marks the biggest shock to modern culture.  As Princess Leia she was one of the most important and beloved characters in the Star Wars universe and it was a role that made Fisher a household name as well as an enduring sex symbol.  While I hate to make my tribute to Carrie Fisher in the context of a rebuttal to some of the worst people on the planet, it remains necessary.  Given that Fisher was one of the most iconic sex symbols in all of science fiction, owing in part to her now iconic “slave Leia” bikini segment in Return of the Jedi, and as such a legion of fans have mourned the passing of a woman who embodied their most cherished sexual fantasies.  Predictably, the modern day hipster puritans on the left have emerged to chastise anyone and everyone who dares lament the death of someone they found sexually attractive.

One of the more notable voices to be silenced in a wave of protests (and they’re protests, not harassment, because the PC police say so) has been Steve Martin who removed a heartfelt tweet about Fisher’s passing which read:

"When I was a young man, Carrie Fisher was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She turned out to be witty and bright as well.”

This provoked an outrage perhaps surpassed only by the riots that occurred at the first performance of the Rite of Spring with even New York Magazine stepping up to condemn the post in an article titled “Carrie Fisher Struggled Against Being a Nerd-Boy Sex Object Her Whole Life.” Steve Martin deleted the tweet and has not posted another. The New York Magazine article goes on to discuss how Carrie Fisher struggled with being thought of as sex symbol her entire life but I think the grave error here comes in not properly defining terms.  The political correctness police have long railed against the notion of women (but, of course, never men) being reduced to the status of sex objects, arguing that the status is degrading and dehumanizing.  But a sex symbol is another matter.

As I discussed in my 2012 novel Eros Empire, a symbol, by definition, is a concrete embodiment of abstract ideas and specific determinations of value.  The difference is crucial- an object is merely an identification of a material existence. It carries with it no value judgements and no inherent worth.  But a sex symbol is something else altogether.  That is a vessel into which we pour a great wealth of meaning and importance.  A sex symbol embodies the manner in which persons appreciate sexuality- the psychological meaning and deeper spiritual value that we ascribe to that most basic of acts. As we are a species whose values are predicated on a system of objective meritocracy it is only proper that we identify those individuals whose sexual expression best embodies those values.  The human appreciation of sexuality is, like all sensory indulgences, set apart from that of the animal world because of our capacity for volitional cognition.  We can take our base indulgences and ascribe higher meaning to them and it is in this manner which we progress as a people and live our fullest, happiest lives.

In pagan circles and indeed in archetypal psychology there is the archetype of the Maiden, Mother, Crone- the three stages of life that all women must pass through.  As maidens they are profoundly sexual beings whose first and foremost desire is sexual indulgence. It is by fulfilling this role that they pass into the next role which is mother- the balance point between the first and the last stage wherein they are chiefly concerned with creating, growing and sustaining new life.  The final stage is the crone, which is achieved when the mother has raised her offspring to adulthood and now, having fulfilled her parental purpose, can observe the new generation and provide elder wisdom.  This is a beautiful concept, one built around premises of love and personal evolution over time. The literalists on the politically correct left will no doubt presume that by even suggesting this idea I’m saying that women ought to stay home with their children or some other such nonsense.  No, that is not at all what I’m saying here at all- this is merely indicative of a symbolic journey through womanhood.  It is, conversely, also reflective of the journey taken by men as they learn to relate to women.

Steve Martin’s tweet is perfectly emblematic of the way men come to appreciate women and it echoes my own experience of Carrie Fisher.  I can remember going into the Oxford Bookstore in Atlanta shortly after new years when they were having a sale on expired calendars and my folks were perplexed (or perhaps secretly understanding) that the pre-teen me wanted an out of date Return of the Jedi calendar.  Well, really it was obvious- I wanted the shots of princess Leia in the slave bikini.  At the time it was one of my first forays into the understanding of women as being fundamentally important in some unique way. I didn’t know about sex and I only understood love as the virus that causes cooties but there was something about that image that was fundamentally perfect.  And as I grew my understanding of what I appreciated about that image grew as well.  It wasn’t just the exposed midriff, barely covered breasts and loincloth clad legs and buttocks.

Contrary to what Fisher herself said, beauty is a skill.  Having a beautiful face and body is not in itself what’s appealing- it’s the life in the person which animates those features that makes them shine.  Consider the lyrics to the song “One” from a Chorus Line: 

One singular sensation, every little step she takes
One thrilling combination, every move that she makes
One smile and suddenly nobody else will do
You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who

One moment in her presence and you can forget the rest
For the girl is second best to none, son
Oooh! Sigh! Give her your attention
Do I really have to mention she's the one

She walks into a room and you know she's
uncommonly rare, very unique
peripatetic, poetic and chic
She walks into a room and you know from her
maddening poise, effortless whirl
She’s a special girl.
And THAT is the essence of beauty. Not just appealing features that suggest health and fertility but the spirit inside that gives them life. In that way it’s correct to say that true beauty comes from within.

Just as it is through sexual identity that the maiden begins her development into the larger stages of womanhood so it is through sexual attraction that the man begins to understand the larger appeal of a beautiful woman.  To deny men that right is to deny women the motivating force that allows them to reach those larger stages of development.  Is it any wonder that in our current politically correct landscape we have so many young women spouting spiteful, hateful nonsense in a vain attempt to bypass the maiden stage and convince the world (and themselves) that the crone stage exists automatically and exclusively as the sole acceptable state of womanhood while the other two are just embarrassing abstractions forced on women by a male dominated society?

After all, as Simone de Beauvoir pointed out, one is not born but rather becomes a woman. 

I feel compelled to stop and remind the reader, once again, that I’m only talking about these stages as symbolic of different points of personal development in one’s life and while there is a biological element to that I am only suggesting this as a metaphor, not to suggest that women are nothing more than sexy baby factories.

I bring all of this up because much of the controversy concocted by the perpetually aggrieved has stemmed from Carrie Fisher being immortalized as “slave Leia,” 

Slave Leia is, therefore, a crucial part of Leia’s development.  For the first two movies she is dressed in white- the pristine, virginal princess.  In Empire Strikes Back she’s seduced by the dashing rogue Han Solo but remains dressed in white throughout.  Then finally she goes to rescue Han in Return of the Jedi and we see her first in disguise as some grotesque mercenary creature as she descends into Jabba’s slave palace.  George Lucas is well known for applying Joseph Campbell’s Monomyth concept to Luke Skywalker’s character arc but he applies it beautifully to Leia as well.  As Leia descends into the underworld on her own Orpheus descent to rescue her love she is, symbolically, in the initial stages of discovering her sexuality.  The initial stages of physical sexual development- menses and the onset of puberty- are gross and uncomfortable and when Leia descends into Jabba’s palace she has entered a dark interior space that is ugly and smelly but from this will emerge something immensely appealing- the “slave Leia” segment wherein she is transformed into a beautiful being of pure sexual energy but she is constrained by Jabba- the ugly, grotesque creature that she first discovered when embarking on her journey towards sexual identity.  It is here that she is at a crossroads- she can capitulate to Jabba and in so doing accept her sexuality as disgusting a shameful or she can triumph over Jabba and move forward into a greater stage of womanhood.  It is here that we understand why Leia’s sexual personae has become so appealing- she kills Jabba and beams out at her male comrades with joy and accomplishment.  She has overcome the grotesque onset of sexual identity and learned to command it as something that makes her beautiful.  She has learned to bring her inner beauty in line with her exterior self and that higher self is what we have all loved and cherished for so long.  In the remainder of Return of the Jedi (except for a couple of scenes where it’s necessary to the plot) we see Leia on Endor in earth tones- the shades of green and brown that indicate fertility.  She is evolving from maiden to mother.  The actual mother stage isn’t seen but by the time we return to the Star Wars universe for the Force Awakens we find that Leia has emerged as General Organa and moved from mother to crone.

The PC police that impudently demand that we write off slave Leia as some unfortunate and embarrassing display of T’nA for its own sake forget that if Leia had never gone through all of that she would never have become General Organa.  If she had remained the pristine virginal princess and confined herself to royal duties she would have never joined the rebellion in the first place, given the Death Star plans to the R2 droid, and set in motion the events that would topple the Empire.  Never putting herself on the journey that would bring her to crossroads that was Slave Leia would have meant remaining a princess and likely married off to secure political alliances for the royal family.

So no, it’s not the slavery aspect that makes slave Leia so appealing.  It’s the freeing of her sexuality at that crucial point of crossroads.  If Star Wars had been a story where slave Leia decides that she likes being a slave and devotes herself to Jabbah which convinces Luke Skywalker and Han Solo that the only way to succeed with women is to become slave driving monsters themselves and they then embark on journeys of cruel, hateful debasement of women far and wide then the whole series would come to a dead halt and seem tedious, disappointing and depressing.

That is ultimately what happens to Tarl Cabot, the male lead in John Norman’s Gor novels.  As my regular listeners know, the world of Gor has been my go-to example of actual misogyny in action.  The story tells of a planet devoted to female servitude, where slave girls abound and Tarl Cabot finds fulfillment in being a monstrous bastard that rapes, beats, bullies, insults and intimidates women who become sexually aroused and submissive in his overwhelmingly masculine presence.  Supposedly all this is done in the interest of sexual arousal for the reader but the female characters in the books don’t seem to have the kind of triumphant personal evolution enjoyed by princess Leia.  Instead they are, by and large, empty, terrified husks of people who have had all the life and spark beaten out of them and replaced by a Stockholm Syndrome like desire to wait on men hand and foot and be at their beck and call.  The political correctness police look at Star Wars and see Gor and they could not be more wrong.

My thoughts- and those of Steve Martin- are wonderfully embodied in this heartfelt post by Kevin Smith:

The Princess stole my heart at age 7. Anybody who knows me knows #CarrieFisher was my first love. I thrilled to the adventures of #princessleia in the @starwars movies, but from '77 to '84, I was in love with Carrie Fisher herself. My bedroom was filled with Carrie Fisher pictures from any movie she was ever in (including Polaroids I took off the TV when #thebluesbrothers hit cable). I was jealous of Paul Simon when he was dating Carrie Fisher and wouldn't listen to his music until they split up. I paid to see Carrie Fisher and #chevychase in Under the Rainbow nine times when it was in theaters (mostly because Carrie Fisher was in underwear in one scene). In childhood, I committed myself to Carrie Fisher without ever meeting her the way novice Nuns commit themselves to Christ without meeting Him. Decades later, I got to tell her this when Carrie Fisher and @jaymewes were in a station wagon on the set of #jayandsilentbobstrikeback. She was gracious about hearing it for the zillionth time from the zillionth man or woman who grew up idolizing her, but wickedly added "I'm glad to know I helped you find your light saber." And with that, she stopped being Carrie Fisher to me and just became Carrie. That's the Carrie I'll always remember: the dutiful standard-bearer of childhood dreams with a the wicked sense of humor and a way with words. She didn't want to get paid for her role in @jayandsilentbob Strike Back; instead, she asked that we buy her these antique beaver chairs. Her reason: "Beaver seems an appropriate currency for this movie." When she was a guest on Season 1 of our @hulu show #Spoilers, Carrie curled up in the throne like she belonged there. And she did: after all, she was royalty. As a boy, I dreamed of marrying Carrie Fisher. As a young filmmaker, I dreamed of casting Carrie Fisher. As an adult, I dreamed of being as sharp-witted and prepossessed as Carrie Fisher. And now that Carrie Fisher is gone, I'll dream of my friend Carrie - whose entire magnificent career I was lucky enough to witness, whose honesty made me a better person, and whose spirit - like The Force - will be with us always. Goodnight, Sweet Princess…


Smith’s words are a beautiful elaboration of what was said by Steve Martin and show us the full depth of feeling that such an attraction represents.  These are not cold, unfeeling brutish men who are chuckling about the death of a scullery wench they enjoyed buggering here and there but to whom they are otherwise indifferent.  These are men who, like myself, discovered female beauty as the window into the human being underneath.  Whether the social justice puritan hipsters want to admit it or not, heterosexual men will always hold female beauty in high exaltation.  So go on, remember Carrie Fisher for everything she was- a beautiful, bright, passionate, intelligent, sexy, loving, compassionate, fascinating woman and to hell with anyone who would burden the pain of our grief with guilt ridden sermonizing.


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Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Trump & Mansplaining

by Jordan Owen
(c)2016

Donald Trump has just secured the electoral college votes necessary to become the next President of the United States.  Those like myself that long for some 11th-hour miracle that will keep Trump from ascending the throne (and at this point that's exactly what it is) are seeing what few hopes we had left teetering on the brink of oblivion.  I would hold out hope for the CIA and the FBI to deliver a devastating revelation that shows Donald Trump to be directly tied to the Russians but even now there's more evidence tying him to that than there was connecting Nixon to Watergate and that still hasn't been enough to unseat the Donald.

Last time I spoke about why Donald Trump won I focused on some broader issues that the left used to alienate middle of the road voters.  Interestingly, my commentary on Trump seems to have opened an avenue of discussion with the left that I didn't previously have. Knowing that we share a common dislike for Donald Trump has given me a sort of bridge to communicate to the left, at least in some small part.  As I've said previously, I don't think that many people come to libertarianism straight on- we come at it from the left and the right, generally out of disillusionment with the side we were "born" into.  In my case, that's the left.  So understand that I'm not trying to convert anybody to the libertarian credo nor am I thinking that I'll reach everybody on the left but for those who want to listen, here's more of what you need to know.

One of the current pariahs to modern liberals is Dilbert creator Scott Adams.  He came out early on claiming that Donald Trump would win the presidency with his cunning use of branding.  For that, Adams was tarred and feathered by the 5th estate of blogosphere news sites.  They attempted to get Dilbert pulled from newspapers and rabidly branded Adams as a closet Alt-Right reactionary. And for what? Simply showing you the exact tools that Donald Trump was going to use to win.  You should have been praising his name for that- you could have seen it coming a mile away and countered Trump effortlessly but no- you refused.  You demanded Scott Adams' head on a stick and relegated him the status of a talking head on minor news outlets when he should have been front and center.

Adams' general observation about Trump's technique was that he knows how to brand people.  And he's right- "Crooked Hillary" is still a trending hashtag after all this time.  He applied lesser brands to Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, and all of his other opponents and they fell one after another.  Those brands stick in people's minds because they become perceived as axiomatic; that is to say the recipient of the brand can't further speak without appearing to be endemic of the brand that's been put on them.  Jeb Bush is low energy? Actually no, he's not- he's thoughtful, erudite and contemplative- all things that are positive traits in a leader.  Trump actually cannot beat those qualities- he's loud, brash and impulsive in the extreme.  But what he can do is rebrand Jeb Bush so that qualities we should see as positives come off as negatives.  Hence the "Low Energy Jeb" brand.  And forever after, Jeb Bush sounds low energy.  Trump deflated the campaign of a veteran politician with a long track record of winning public office like it was nothing.  Adams was damn right about Trump's skill at branding.

What's amazing is that the left, the academicians of which pride themselves on teaching "media literacy," seem remarkably unaware of what branding is and how to caution their students against it.  If you still doubt the power of branding, consider this question: what do you call the little sticky strip that you put on a cut after disinfecting it?

Seriously- give me the first thing that pops into your head.

You said BAND-AID didn't you? Well guess what- the item in question is actually called an "adhesive bandage." "BAND-AID" is the term used by Johnson & Johnson to market their product and they have branded that term on the public psyche to such a degree that we think of the product itself as being identified by that name.  Here's another one- think of copy machines.  When you use a copier you're "copying" something or "making a copy," right? Okay- think of as many synonyms for that as you possibly can.  I bet "xerox" was among them, right? That's not a verb- but it became one thanks to the Xerox company. Originally founded in 1906 as the Haloid Photographic Company, Xerox achieved its workplace ubiquity when it introduced the xerographic duplication process that was instantly and obviously more efficient than other methods and as such duplicating documents became known as "xeroxing" them. That is the power of branding.

So what does the left need to know about this? Well, mainly that they've been using it themselves without realizing it.  Few examples of leftist cultural branding have been as insidious and damaging as the concept of "mansplaining." That is branding, just like "Low Energy Jeb" or "Crooked Hillary." Ostensibly, "mainsplaining" refers to behavior wherein arrogant, chauvinistic men condescend and talk down to women and presume that they are right and the woman is wrong simply by virtue of their gender.  So foul and odious is this notion in modern society that any man accused of "mansplaining" can only shut up and fall in line lest he become branded as a "mansplainer."

And that's just how the left has operated for eight years- it has refused to engage in serious discussion of the ideas and has, instead, focused on controlling perception. Perhaps I'm wrong- perhaps the academics do know how branding works and they're teaching kids how to use it.  Sorry, but you were only supposed to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, not turning Gryffindor into Slytherin.

In the past I've had the accusation of mansplaining levied at me.  I recall a couple of years ago I offered my thoughts on the concept of mansplaining in video form and I a group of left leaning bloggers convened on a round table podcast discussion to talk about how my video on mansplaining was itself mansplaining.  Well, in truth it wasn't- and there's no such thing as mansplaining. I'm simply sitting here offering my opinion which you make take or leave at your discretion.  I've said nothing that suggests I view my opinion as inherently valid simply because of my gender nor is my intended audience a specific gender.  But to identify me here as a "mansplainer" shuts down actual consideration of my ideas.

That is what Donald Trump did to his political betters and it is what the left has done and continues to do.  I bring all this up because MTV- that once great cultural juggernaut that has now been reduced to asinine morality lessons- just put up a video request for white people in 2017.  Among the many requests they made to white people was to stop mansplaining.  To the dwindling contingent of MTV viewers who buy into this sermonizing, understand that you are not reaching anybody, only pushing them away.  And you pushed them right into the arms of Donald Trump.

So stop it.  Stop using branding as a weapon.  Call it out when you hear it rather than trying to cast a more devastating curse on your right wing wizarding adversaries.

I'm not opposed to branding.  When used properly, branding is a tool of intellectual codification by which larger concepts are brought into focus and encapsulated, creating easier and more productive dialogue. Branding helps us move forward as a species.  You know, humanity. That thing we were branded as so long ago.  So start using branding for good.  Use it to be insightful and uplifting, not bitchy and catty.

If the left wants to make good on it's late 1960's promise to be an atmosphere of inclusive compassion and deep spiritual love- sort of like Christianity with drugged out sex orgies- then it needs to let go of weaponized branding.  That's #weaponizedbranding, btw.  Retweet it.

The left has got to realize that it's time for a reformation.  The conservatives figured it out- boy howdy did they ever.  After 8 long years of the dumpster fire that was George W. Bush and getting stomped on twice by the Obama administration, the right finally figured out that it was time to stop alienating people who were 95% in agreement with them already by catering to bugged out loonies on the distant fringe.  You'll notice that former GOP mainstays like evangelical church goers along with homophobia and pro-life agenda items have all taken a quiet back seat this time around.  The Donald touched on them in passing when he did at all and he even commended pro-gay conservatives time and again.  Hell- he'd probably have said nothing at all about abortion if the more left-minded in the media hadn't kept prodding him on it.  The left needs the same reformation.  Realize that someone who thinks abortion is murder but doesn't try to force their views on you is your friend, not your enemy.  Realize that someone who believes that homosexuality is morally wrong but that their own moral imperative to be kind, compassionate people is infinitely more important is your ally in the larger goal of human love, not your enemy.  Realize that rejecting long held institutions of religion doesn't make you immune to the kind of dogmatic thinking that pushed you away from those institutions in the first place.

But above all, follow the Bill & Ted maxim: "Be excellent to each other."

That's #Beexcellenttoeachother, btw.  Retweet it.

Kind regards and Happy Holidays,
-Jordan

Please support my work at http://www.patreon.com/jordanowen42

Please also visit: Jordan Owen on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/jordanowen42
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Sunday, December 4, 2016

Electoral Boogaloo

Electoral Boogaloo

  By Jordan Owen

©2016

 The electoral college has been a topic of mass discussion as of late, considering that the American people have had to come face to face with the reality that the candidate who did not get the most votes is now our president-elect.  I myself have called the institution into question in recent days and, like so many, I have received a number of unintentionally condescending responses from well meaning commenters who seem to think I don’t know how the electoral college works.  Actually, no- I’m quite aware of how it works or, more precisely, how it doesn’t.  It’s an outdated system written to accommodate voters who arrived at polling locations via horse drawn cart.


 Here’s a few of the more common defenses I’ve heard of the electoral college:


 The electoral college reflects the views of the majority of Americans because if it wasn’t in place the candidates would campaign differently and still affect the same outcome. 


 You have absolutely no way of knowing what the outcome would be if the candidates campaigned differently.


 The electoral college is important because it gives the smaller states a voice!


 No it doesn’t. If you wanted all the states to be represented equally then every state plus the district of Columbia should have ONE electoral vote.  Fifty-one votes means no chance of a tie and no battleground states.


 The popular vote doesn't matter because three million illegal votes were cast!


 You have absolutely no evidence for that except a tweet by Donald Trump. If that's all he needs to convince you then he's going to have a breeze of a time setting up Muslim extermination camps. Also, three million illegal votes would necessitate a reevaluation of the electoral vote as well.


 If the electoral college wasn’t in place the candidates would just campaign in high-population areas and ignore the smaller outlying areas.


 This is bunk for two reasons- one, the candidates ALREADY only focus on heavily populated areas.  I don’t remember Trump or Clinton doing any rallies in Monowi, Nebraska. Second, let me remind you that our electoral process no longer caters to the needs of people who are likely to die of dysentery on the way to the polls.  We have this magical thing called the internet that through some sort of highfalutin’ city boy witchcraft is able to carry information from all over the earth into our living rooms.  And possibly other rooms if your provider isn’t Comcast.  I did not attend a single political rally in the entire 2016 election cycle and I was still able to figure out who I wanted to vote for.  Yet somehow I’m still treated like a centuries old hillbilly with an adam’s apple that matches his nose who has hobbled up to the voting booth barefoot and reeking of the methane of multiple species.  


 The electoral college was established to protect us from the tyranny of the majority!


 Okay, this argument actually has some legs. The libertarian in me would agree that we have to have certain government institutions in place to protect the rights of the individuals from being ganged up on by the majority.  But what purpose does kneecapping the majority vote in the presidential election actually serve?  Why is it more noble for the minority to be able to gang up on the majority than vice-a-versa?  What’s the point of having the election in the first place if the candidate with the most votes is blocked from winning out of principle?


 This country is called the United States of America, not “America.” We have to respect states rights!


 Ah yes- state's’ rights.  The two words bandied about 150 years ago by those pretentious enough to think that they could put an intellectual veneer on their defense of owning people as property.  If that’s really how you feel, why are these states united at all? Let’s just dissolve the union and remodel this portion of the continent as a series of tiny nations a’la Europe- you know, the thing that conservatives purport to be protecting the US from becoming.  And that’s where I have one of many, many bones to pick with modern conservatism. Conservatives want us to be safe from the federal government- it’s much better when the government denying us our rights is a smaller, more manageable state level tyranny.  Trust me, as a Georgia resident it’s nice to have an entity that can overrule the decisions of the low-watt bulbs that make up our local legislature.  


 Bill Maher is right to say that “states rights” is code for taking away rights. A state is an abstract concept based on population distributions and has no rights in any kind of human sense of the word.  Proper conservatives, like Margaret Thatcher, for example, are spot on in saying that societies do not have rights and do not exist- only individuals exist and can have rights. If you doubt the axiomatic truth of that concept then try having a society without individuals- it cannot be done. Without individuals to convene in agreement on a set of principles you cannot have a society- only wilderness.  The person who tells you that we must respect states’ rights cannot claim  to support the rights of the minority in the face of the majority and it is this contradiction that derails the already poorly maintained train of thought espoused by the amorphous glob of inanity that is contemporary conservatism.   Support for states rights amounts to saying “I am going to protect your individual rights from the collective will of hundreds of millions of people by allowing your individual rights to be overruled and violated by the collective will of tens of millions of people. See how much better that is?  And if you don’t like it you can go to another state because, after all, you’re just a poor field hand who can pack his belongings into a single hobo sack and hit the old dusty trail with a song in his heart, a thumb in the air, a wheat strand in his teeth and a wistful gleam in his eye.  It’s not like you’re a modern day resident of an affluent first world community that actually has family, friends and a career he’d rather not leave behind.  Hit the road you vagabond prince of American optimism- you’ll reach Califor-ny-yay and be playing your harmonica under the cool shade of orange groves before you know it.”


 Here’s another problem with that whole states rights thing- what if the only option is to go to another state but the other states- themselves protected by the maxim of states rights- have decided not to let in any outsiders?  Suddenly a lavish border wall designed by a pompous prick with a ballgina micropenis doesn’t seem like such a romantic thought after all.  


 But there is one practical use for the electoral college.  The founders of this country- themselves mostly secular, liberty minded members of the Hellfire Club- looked out across the vast expanse of drooling nitwits that made up the majority of voters and realized that it was entirely possible these impressionable souls- many of whom couldn’t find their asshole with both hands- would elect the very sort of tyrannical dictator they had just fought a bloody war to escape from.  As such the electoral college could deliberate and decide that the president-elect was unfit to hold office and vote accordingly.  I’m sure all of you electoral college enthusiasts will join me in hoping they vote for Clinton.


 Now if you’ll excuse me, my prize heffer has just given birth and I intend to give the calf to old mayor Jebidiah Conshohocken.  I’m hoping he’ll let me put my seed in his daughter the school marm as soon as I know how.


 Kind regards,

-Jordan


  Please support my work at http://www.patreon.com/jordanowen42


  Please also visit: Jordan Owen on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/jordanowen42

Jordan Owen on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jordanowen42
Jordan Owen on DeviantArt: http://jordanowen.deviantart.com
Jordan Owen on Blogspot: http://www.jordanowen42.blogspot.com
Jordan Owen's novel: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eros-Empire-Jordan-Owen/dp/1593933762 
Jordan Owen on soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/Jordanowen42

  The band: http://www.reverbnation.com/leavingbabylon